"I look so good sometimes I just want to kiss myself."

John Morrison is one cool dude.  Morrison is a wrestler for WWE.  He does all kinds of flips in the ring and he says a lot of funny things.  Watch the youtube vid.... lol.

"I predict....that HHH...will spit some water"



"We don't have loofas in the palace of wisdom."


"Hello, I'm John Morrison and I like to squeeze things."

"An update on Festus: Festus is still a bald, fat virgin."

"Rugs are oriental. People are Asian."

"Earlier today we found Kelly Kelly's cellphone laying in her purse in the women's locker room."

"Hello, I'm John Morrison, and you can bounce a quarter off my abs."

As CM Punk: "My mom dressed me like a girl 'til I was 18. To this day, I still pee sitting down."

"Hi, I'm John Morrison, and I once spent the night on a houseboat with Joan Rivers."

"Hi, I'm John Morrison and I drive a hybrid. Do you care about the environment, Miz? I do."

"Dreadlocks are so 1995."

"They tell me I'm a sexual jedi."

"My highschool's janitor's name was Joe. Joe was a dirty, dirty man."

"Hi, I'm John Morrison and if I had a nickle for everyone in Wrestlemania better looking than me... I would have no nickles."

After seeing Hawkins and Ryder: "...Give them both a roll of nickles."

JM: "Hi, I'm John Morrison, and this year I'm gonna be voting for both Clinton and Obama."

MM: "...You only can vote once."

JM: "...We'll see about that."

As Finlay's brother: (Singing) "We drink all day and we smell like pee-peeee!"

(Pounds his chest twice) "Go environment."

"Hi, I'm John Morrison, and last Thursday I went surfing naked. While most people would be arrested for indescent exposure, I was awarded the key to the city of Manhattan Beach."

"We can't smell what The Rock is cookin' at the palace of wisdom."

"Hi, I'm John Morrison, and I think so deep, I eat religion and cr@p out enlightenment."

About Evan Bourne: "It's amazing how he can defy gravity... and charisma."

"MR. FUJI!" (throws powder in person's face)

MM: "This week we look at Sunday's pay-per-view, Backlash."

JM: "Or as Lena Yada would say: Backrash."

"I'd first like to say it's very considerate of Edge to include Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder on his new t-shirt." (picture of Edge's shirt with two girls on it comes up)